


Stay Here

by joneinyourarea



Series: Produce 101 Fics [3]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, RIP, Unrequited Love, because im trash, but not really, i have multiple fics planned, its so angsty, sorry for this, theres literally me appreciating daehwi in, theyre all oblivious, yongguks pov in here because yes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-19 17:44:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12414924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joneinyourarea/pseuds/joneinyourarea
Summary: Yongguk really wants Sihyun's attention off of Samuel and on him instead, but he doesn't think that's going to happen any time soon and it bothers him.





	Stay Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emmadiangelo17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmadiangelo17/gifts).



> This fic is really weird in the sense that the italicized in huge bulk is a flashback, but italicized in like two lines is Yongguk's inner thought. it's weird, yes I know and I'm super sorry. It'll continue to be weird because I have a whole series planned out revolving around each couple and I'm so excited (I don't know if I'll do one fic or one in each pov but I'll decide later.
> 
> this is gifted to the person above because they'd asked for multiple separate fics and this was the one I wrote first... sorry if you don't like it, your words were "anything with Yongguk and Sihyun" so I hope you like it.

Yongguk stands backstage and looks to the crowd of people jumping excitedly as he begins to get anxious. He knows that it’s finally time for him to perform, to debut, to make a name for the duo, to succeed. It’s finally time and now all he can think about is backing out, but he’s suddenly reminded of a long night in the middle of February when reassuring hands rubbed his shoulders and a soothing voice whispered words of encouragement into his ear. Suddenly he feels it again: the gentle touch, the kind words, everything, and he feels relief wash over him as he realizes he’s not alone. He has his cru- best friend, yes, best friend with him; his cute best friend Sihyun (that he may or may not look at with hearts in his eyes).

He turns to see Sihyun looking at him, worry etched on his face. Yongguk looks back at him and notices everything all at once. The gentle styling to his hair, the soft gaze he holds, the scrunch in his nose, even the subtle tint to his lips. Memories of nights spent alone in a dorm occupied by seven to eight people he was unfamiliar with flood back into his mind as clear as day and he’s relieved he doesn’t have to be alone for something as huge as this. Sihyun squeezes his shoulder gently before smiling softly and turning away to look at the crowd of people in the audience. They sit in silence for what seems like ages before Sihyun laces his hand with Yongguk’s. Yongguk turns to look at Sihyun when he hears the familiar tapping of Sihyun’s scuffed shoes and gently rubs his thumb in soothing circles, hoping to calm the other boy and reassure him at least a little bit. Sihyun’s frantic tapping stops suddenly, but starts again shortly after he hears their names called followed by the news that they have five minutes to prepare for their performance.

Yongguk stands up and helps Sihyun to his feet before wrapping his arms around Sihyun’s waist. He waits for Sihyun to reciprocate the motion before pulling him closer and gently playing with his hair (Sihyun whines saying that he’s going to ruin it, but Yongguk doesn’t care). He waits for Sihyun to calm down before finally letting go of him, but doesn’t stop Sihyun when he grabs at his hand again. Instead he just squeezes gently and pulls Sihyun closer, hoping his hand is comforting enough for the time being. There’s always that moment of doubt in Yongguk’s mind, the moment where he switches back to days in the beginning of March when he found Sihyun looking to someone else for comfort when he was in pain, but he quickly shakes his head trying to let that thought go before it’s lodged into his brain forever.

He whispers words of encouragement into Sihyun’s ear and tries his best to calm the terrified boy down before he, although terrified as well, walks onto the stage as calmly as possible and gets into position. His heart rate beats at an increasing pace as the first note of the song is played, but he takes a shaky breath and starts to sing (and you can almost hear the quiver in his voice. Almost). He does feel a lot better when he sees Sihyun out of the corner of his eyes and he relaxes completely, letting the song take control. They spend the next three minutes trying not to fumble with the dance moves and trying to remember all of the words to their song.

About three minutes later, they hopped off the stage, their hearts in their stomachs and their eyes glazed over. Yongguk looks to Sihyun and practically jumps on him, happier than when his group had won first place for evaluations. Sihyun laughs and wraps his arms around Yongguk’s neck to pull him closer, smile outshining the LED lights Yongguk had in his face just twenty seconds ago. He pulls Sihyun closer, but suddenly he’s overwhelmed by the need to have Sihyun even closer, to never let go, to kiss him. He has to almost physically shake that last thought out of his mind as he wraps his arms around Sihyun’s waist and pulls him in for a hug. They pull apart almost as quickly as they came together because they were ushered into a van and sent to their dorms until the next scheduled performance they had.

*  
*  
*

It’s the second of August when Yongguk feels threatened for the first time in a while and he’s nervous. He and Sihyun had just finished their performance for the day and were heading back into the waiting room when they heard a voice come onto the speakers. It was the intro of a new debut artist and Sihyun instantly brightened up while Yongguk sulked over what he was experiencing; he was going through a hard case of deja vu and he hated it. He hated the voice he heard and the being it belonged to and he hated that Sihyun immediately seemed happier.

Five minutes later the body belonging to that voice walked into the room with a huge smile on his face and Yongguk is left to sulk, wondering how he and Sihyun had even gotten close since Sihyun left produce 101 too early to even make a name for himself.

_(oh yeah, he snuck in to see me…at first)_

The now brunette haired boy with a smile to rival the sun, Samuel, walks into the room and the first thing he seems to notice (well to Yongguk anyway) is all of the beauty that is Kim Sihyun and Yongguk is suddenly reminded of chilly days in the middle of March when Sihyun would sneak into the produce building to see someone else, making the air seemingly twice as cold as he added the warmth of his body to the already stuffy room of boys.

When Sihyun finally notices Samuel it’s like another pang to Yongguk’s chest because seeing them happy, seeing them _together_ , made Yongguk fear that he’d be losing Sihyun again and he just couldn’t handle that pain again: he couldn’t sit there and watch Sihyun just barely slip past his grip. He was beginning to panic, but he just nodded at Samuel and gave him a slight hug before excusing himself to the bathroom to hyperventilate in one of the open stalls. He needed Daehwi, he needed that one last piece of hope he had, but Daehwi was with Wanna One and preparing for his own debut; certainly he didn’t have time for Yongguk and his personal problems. Yongguk sighs and washes himself to the best of his ability before making his way to the van so they could head to wherever they needed to next.

*  
*  
*

Help finally comes for Yongguk in the form of Lee Daehwi when the seventh of August finally rolls around. Yongguk and Sihyun (as well as Samuel) have finished their stages and are now sitting in the waiting room and chatting (Sihyun and Samuel are as Yongguk is left out of the conversation) when he hears the intro he’d been waiting ages to hear and he instantly sits up straighter (Sihyun and Samuel seem to notice his sudden happiness, but don’t comment on it since Yongguk has actually smiled for once). When the song, Energetic, is finally over Wanna One bursts through the door and the first thing he sees is a mass of limbs trying to crash through the doors simultaneously.

“Yonggie hyung!!!”

Yongguk looks up as he hears his nickname called and almost falls over as a very hyper Daehwi rams into him, bringing him into a bone crushing hug (and knocking the air right out of him) while jumping excitedly. When he can finally breathe again, Yongguk chuckles and returns the hug with just as much fervor.

“Heya, Hwi-ah!”

Yongguk pulls away and ruffles Daehwi’s hair before Daehwi turns around and waves quickly to Sihyun before waving (twice as excitedly, and is that a blush Yongguk spots Daehwi sporting?) to Samuel as well. Samuel returns his wave with a smile just as bright as Sihyun waves to Daehwi looking slightly uncomfortable (while trying his hardest to hide it, Yongguk doesn’t bring it up. Ever.), but smiles brightly either way. Just then, the rest of the members make their rounds hugging and chatting with the three before Yongguk and Sihyun are forced to leave the reunion early. They quickly hug the members again, Sihyun seeming to linger longer on Samuel, before they’re shuffled to their van and driven to the nearest restaurant.

When they reach the sushi place they get out of the car quietly. It’s not a fancy five star restaurant, more like a cozy place that you would go on a date- Yongguk wants to think this is a date, but by the way Sihyun looks at Samuel and how he’s avoiding Yongguk’s gaze tells him that this wouldn’t be one. They quickly sit down and order their food, but they don’t talk. Yongguk wants to ask Sihyun if he’s okay, but Sihyun won’t look at him nor will he talk to him. It’s like Yongguk’s nonexistent while being right in front of him and it hurts, but he doesn’t comment on it, he never does.

*  
*  
*

Yongguk and Daehwi have been spending more time together ( _just like the old days_ ), which mostly consists of Daehwi trying to reassure Yongguk while Yongguk simultaneously reassures Daehwi of Samuel’s undying love for him. It’s gotten so bad that at one point, three days after their first meeting, the rest of the Wanna One members have already asked and now they’re all sitting around the two sulking boys to comfort them with the exception of Minhyun who’d run off, with Jaehwan, to fetch food (and feelings) for the poor heart broken boys.

Daniel is currently finding a funny movie to watch, taking Seungwoo and Jisung who happen to be the king of memes (not that there’s something going on between them… no, never) to help pick out the best movie possible. Jinyoung and Jihoon are sat next to Yongguk on the couch, sitting farther apart than usual and acting very awkward, as if they’d just kissed each other, and not making eye contact as Woojin sits next to Daehwi (texting his precious Hyungseobie) and Guanlin whines about Woojin hogging the phone (until Woojin pulls up the conversation with Seonho and Guanlin’s cheeks burn because there were some pretty embarrassing things written in there).

Suddenly a voice of reason pops up in the form of Sungwoon and scolds Woojin for reading Guanlin’s personal messages, but the voice of reason is gone as quickly as he came when Sungwoon forms a wicked smile and tells Woojin to ask Seonho over to watch movies with them (he agrees and says he’ll be over as quickly as possible). Guanlin retaliates by snatching the phone and messaging Hyungseob who responds with a ‘Yay! We get to hang out again, save me a seat!!’. Woojin’s face heats up and he promptly shoves Guanlin off the sofa to make room for Hyungseob. Sungwoon then turns to look at Yongguk and motions for him to ask Sihyun to come too and he does, reluctantly. Sihyun says yes and Yongguk practically melts (until Sihyun actually arrives that is). Sungwoon also invites Jonghyun and Sewoon to help the two heart broken boys (who are trying to say they like each other now) figure something out.

When Sihyun does arrive he has his hand intertwined with Samuel’s and when Yongguk looks over to wave him in his smile falters. He and Daehwi look at each other then back to Samuel and Sihyun’s interlocked hands before looking back and frowning at each other. Yongguk decides to be the nice guy and gets up to give Samuel and Sihyun the couch. Daehwi stands up to give Sihyun his seat, but Samuel lets go of Sihyun’s hand and pulls Daehwi on the couch next to him leaving Sihyun to sit next to Yongguk. Yongguk pulls Sihyun to sit next to him on the ground, but sits stiffly and hopes that Sihyun isn’t uncomfortable because he’s near Yongguk instead of his precious Samuel. Daniel, Jisung, and Seungwoo find this the perfect opportunity to finally come back holding five movies that they claim all are comedies, but there’s an evil glint in their eyes telling the members otherwise.

Daniel pops in the first movie, some cheesy comedy, but Yongguk is more focused on Sihyun and the way his lips curl into a soft smile and the small glint in his eyes. He is focused on the way Sihyun’s hair falls in his face so he carefully moves to sweep it out of the way. When his hand is inches away from Sihyun’s face he turns to look at Yongguk and freezes so Yongguk freezes as well.

“You- you have a piece of hair in your face.”

Sihyun flushes and ducks his head, Yongguk takes this as a sign that Sihyun is freaked out so he mumbles an apology and scoots away. He continues to stay away in fear that Sihyun is still uncomfortable with him and he can’t get the thought out of his head.

 _*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

_Yongguk and Sihyun walk into the heavily lit room half filled with trainees early one crisp February morning and they’re nervous as they don’t know how far they’ll make it into the show or if they’ll even make it past the first elimination. They walk in hand in hand and hope for the best as they take a seat next to each other in an area near the middle of the seats, the safest place to sit. Yongguk looks to Sihyun and whispers words of encouragement into Sihyun’s ear, gently squeezes his hand as he waits for Sihyun to calm down._

_Yongguk and Sihyun sit and study the other people, gauging their skill levels and slowly become more and more worried for their evaluation. Sihyun starts tapping his leg frantically and his breathing is almost eradicated but Yongguk manages to calm him down enough to get him to breathe. The tapping, however, persists almost obnoxiously and Yongguk needs to figure out a way to calm Sihyun down._

_“Hey, we’ll be okay. Calm down, alright?”_

_Sihyun flushes at the mention of the word ‘we’ll’ and hesitates on his question, only for a few seconds._

_“What is it, Hyun?”_

_“It’s just, whenever I’m nervous my mom usually kisses me.”_

_“What?”_

_Yongguk doesn’t fail to see the pink hue tinting Sihyun’s cheeks as he thinks of what he’s just asked Yongguk to do. Yongguk wants to coo at the precious boy and his adorableness, but he refrains, afraid that it’ll make him even more embarrassed._

_“Forget it, it’s stupid.”_

_“No it’s not.”_

_“No, it’s okay. Really.”_

_The tapping seems to get quieter as Sihyun’s leg moves at a rapid pace. Yongguk thinks on it, wondering if he should kiss Sihyun or not, but he’s quickly brought out of his thoughts by Sihyun tapping his shoulder and telling him that they need to go prepare._

_As they walk into waiting area Yongguk looks to Sihyun and wonders if he should kiss him here or if it would be considered weird, but he quickly makes up his mind as he sees Sihyun trying to calm himself down. He gently pokes Sihyun’s shoulder before whispering to him._

_“Are you okay?”_

_Sihyun looks like he wants to either pass out or die, but he nods and says he’s fine before thinking it over and shaking his head no. Yongguk moves closer and it’s like Sihyun knows what he’s about to do._

_“You don’t have to, really.”_

_Yongguk looks at Sihyun like he’s insane before moving closer and leaning in. He carefully guides Sihyun’s chin with his index finger before looking into Sihyun’s eyes and pecking his lips. He begins to pull back, but he sees Sihyun tremble and immediately knows it didn’t help (and he knew Sihyun wasn’t going to ask again because he seemed to be embarrassed) so he looks at Sihyun one more time before leaning in and gently pressing his lips to Sihyun’s. He wraps his arms around Sihyun’s waist and pulls him closer as Sihyun wraps his arms around Yongguk’s neck. Sihyun tilts his head and pulls Yongguk closer, if that was even possible, before pulling away quickly and whispering a quick thank you to Yongguk. He didn’t say anything; he only grabbed Sihyun’s hand and gently squeezed it and proceeded to look forward (without noticing Sewoon and Gwanghyun staring at them in awe in the corner of the room)._

_*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

 _Sihyun left the show in early March due to health problems, but it didn’t really matter because he’d sneak out in the middle of the night to see Yongguk anyway. He knew he shouldn’t, but Yongguk was always at the door when Sihyun had called him to let him in and everyone thought it was cute_ _(how whipped he was)_ _. Sihyun knew he needed rest, but he’d rather hang out with Yongguk and after a few weeks (and the company was assured that Sihyun was well enough to travel) the company stopped caring so much and just let him go freely. So here they are today, laying side by side on the cramped twin sized bed, Sihyun practically laying on top of Yongguk while they talk about nothing in particular._

_Their most recent topic of interest was between Jisung, Daniel, and Seungwoo. Apparently Jisung and Daniel had been dating for two years, but with the arrival of produce 101 (and Ong Seungwoo) Daniel has been having a wandering eye. Jisung would smack him for it and tell him to remain loyal or end it, and had ended up crying when Daniel broke it off. Of course Seungwoo was the first to know about it when Jisung walked into Yongguk’s room (with Sihyun and Seungwoo as invaders) and asked to speak to Yongguk._

_So the three boys sat and silently listened to Jisung’s heart break further as he retold the story of their break up, eyes still shining brightly at the mention of the boy who’d hurt him, and Seungwoo perked up at the mention of Daniel being single (well, Jisung. He had a type and despite popular belief Daniel was second on the list compared to the angel crying in front of him, but if you were to ask Seungwoo he’d never admit that). The atmosphere goes from heartbreaking to heartwarming in nearly two seconds when Seungwoo pulls Jisung on the bed and carefully cradles him in his arms, Jisung immediately snuggling up to Seungwoo (and thanking him for being so helpful)._

_Jisung and Seungwoo look at Yongguk who’s currently looking at Sihyun like he holds the answers to world peace while gently running his hands through Sihyun’s sleek hair. Sihyun mimicks a cat, snuggling up to Yongguk and purring when he feels one of Yongguk’s hands freely running through his untangled hair as his other hand is securely holding Sihyun in place. When Sihyun looks up at Yongguk and sees him looking at him like he’s the most interesting thing Sihyun’s caught off guard. They lay silently, breathing becoming erratic (Jisung and Seungwoo are watching carefully in the background, amused at the two boys) waiting for someone to make the first move._

_It’s Sihyun who begins to lean in first and Jisung and Seungwoo are left to wait with baited breath as Yongguk leans in as well. Guanlin and Seonho walk in and are about to greet Jisung but Seungwoo puts a finger to his mouth and points to the two boys caught up in their own world. Seonho quickly and quietly slips his hand over Guanlin’s mouth and drags him next to Jisung and Seungwoo to watch carefully. The moment is ruined when Daniel comes crashing into the room asking for Jisung, Yongguk and Sihyun practically throwing themselves to opposite sides of the small bed, and gently takes Jisung by the wrist before dragging him out of the room._

_They stay just outside the door so Daniel can talk and Jisung can leave whenever, but Seungwoo is focused on the contents of the conversation to notice Yongguk and Sihyun metaphorically digging their own graves. Between the embarrassment of almost sharing a kiss with his best friend, Yongguk hears Daniel speaking to Jisung in hushed whispers about how sorry he was and that he misses him and wants him back; but Jisung just looks at Daniel, scoffs, and tells him to go find comfort in Seungwoo because he won’t be the odd man out anymore._

_*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

_Three days have passed since the incident Yongguk wishes to never speak of again, and Yongguk hasn’t seen Sihyun. He stormed out of the room shortly after Jisung came back in huffing about how much he hated Daniel at the time. He just assumes that Sihyun has stopped coming so he wallows in self pity before realizing that Sihyun was the one to lean in first. Yongguk doesn’t know what to do because he’s suddenly thinking of too many things at once: if Sihyun thinks Yongguk hates him, if Sihyun is kicking himself for doing something stupid, if Sihyun likes him. The thoughts are all whirling around his head in a swirl of jumbled words. He’s unable to focus, thoughts becoming more and more prominent as each second ticks by carefully and methodically._

_He’s brought out of his thoughts by Daehwi knocking on his door with a cold look he can’t place on his usually soft features. He cocks his head to the side, questioning why Daehwi’s suddenly showed up in his room, but before he can even get the question out Daehwi is storming into the room and plopping himself, rather harshly, onto Yongguk’s bed._

_“Can you please remove your boyfriend from Samuel’s room. I am trying to flirt, but I can’t with Sihyun always clinging onto him.”_

_“Sihyun’s - been here this whole time?”_

_“Yeah, I thought you knew that he was hanging out with Samuel??”_

_“That’s news to me… he’s been avoiding me.”_

_Daehwi’s mouth forms an ‘o’ comically as his eyes widen. His mouth is working ten times faster than his brain as he spits out apologies left and right and hopes that Yongguk won’t get offended. Yongguk just shakes his head and then he finally notices the bags circling Daehwi’s small form._

_“What are those?”_

_Daehwi looks at Yongguk, most likely confused, before he looks down at his feet and sees two bags full of god knows what and immediately ducks his head, embarrassed._

_“Oh, well….. Samuel kicked me out of the room so Sihyun could stay in there.. Can I possibly stay with you?”_

_Yongguk is shocked, he hadn’t been expecting that. He only nods his head and tells him to put his duffle bags by the door before rubbing the back of his neck and mentioning that Sihyun used to sleep in the same bed as him._

_“Oh, that’s okay! I don’t mind sharing a bed with you!”_

_Daehwi jumps on Yongguk and cuddles up to him, and all Yongguk can think of is the fact that Daehwi isn’t Sihyun and he can’t replace the emptiness Yongguk felt._

_“No offense, but you’re too tall to be Samuel.”_

_“And you’re too small to be Sihyun.”_

_“Touche.”_

_Daehwi snuggles up to Yongguk and looks up at him, gaze curious and inquiring. Yongguk looks back at Daehwi, confused for a minute before Daehwi finally speaks up._

_“You really like him, don’t you?”_

_Yongguk doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t flinch, doesn’t even breathe before the answer is out of his mouth._

_“No.”_

_Daehwi’s smile falters, and his eyes widen in horror. He looks at Yongguk as if he’d just grown a second head or killed his first born child._

_“What? But you were-”_

_“I don’t like him, I’m in love with him.”_

_Daehwi melts at Yongguk’s words, both the meaning and the way his voice gets lighter, and his eyes glimmer._

_“You know, you too have got to be the cutest people in the entire world, but it’s really annoying watching you flit around each other without hesitating. I mean at least I’m trying to flirt with Samuel, you and Sihyun act like best friends one minute, and are leaning in to kiss the next. It’s like neither of you want to make the commitment, but you’re both willing to take the plunge”_

_Yongguk nods his head in agreement and expresses his hatred for his and Sihyun’s current situation at this moment, but the words catch in his throat when he catches Sihyun’s eye as he passes by the room (hand interlocked with Samuel’s and a smile that would rival the sun)._

_There’s a pang in his chest knowing that he wasn’t the reason behind that smile and he just rolls over, pulling Daehwi (who’s also very upset) even closer. Once the pair passes Yongguk finally lets a tear fall and roll down his cheeks effortlessly as he tries to wipe Daehwi’s away._

_“Why does love have to hurt so bad hyung?”_

_“I don’t know, Hwi-ah, I don’t know.”_

_*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

_Yongguk’s getting more and more agitated as the days pass into weeks and Sihyun clings closer to Samuel. Daehwi snickers to him when he finally shares this sentiment and is met with the word jealousy. Yongguk isn’t jealous of Samuel, not one bit, he just wishes he could be in his spot and that Sihyun would talk to him and that Sihyun would hold his hand and hug him and kiss him and-_

_Okay, maybe Yongguk is jealous. It’s not his fault that he’s been in love with Sihyun for god knows how long and this blond haired beauty, who’s supposed to be sweeping Daehwi off his feet, comes and steals Sihyun right from under Yongguk, but that doesn’t mean that he’s happy about the situation either. And honestly, he’s quite tired of having Daehwi running into his arms with tears in his eyes after witnessing the two boys together._

_It’s not like he could say anything though. Why on earth would he willingly go up to the producer and not only tell the producer that Daehwi is pining over Samuel who’s seemed to already have found someone? All he’d be doing is outing himself, Samuel, Daehwi, and Sihyun. Either way you looked at it, Yongguk telling the producers ended up in one of the four boys, if not all, being screwed. He looks at Daehwi and runs his hands through his hair, placing a gentle kiss to his friend’s forehead and hugging him closer, hoping that he’d feel at least a tiny bit better._

_*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

_It’s right after his Open Up performance when it finally happens. Sihyun finally walks up to Yongguk to initiate conversation, but as soon as he knows what it’s for he dies a little more inside. Sihyun’s come up to him for advice._

_“Help. I like Samuel and I don’t know what to do because I know Daehwi likes Samuel and I don’t want to hurt him.”_

_Yongguk’s shocked. He doesn’t know what to do, so he just awkwardly pats Sihyun on the shoulder and tries to help him. After cringing at his own advice he apologizes, saying he’s never been in this situation before. He blocks out the fact that he’s in the exact same situation with Sihyun right now, and tries his hardest to sound sincere when he says good luck._

_It seems to work because Sihyun hugs him and smiles really wide, pulling Yongguk in for a kiss on the cheek and then running to Samuel’s room shortly after._

_*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

_It’s finally happened, Yongguk getting eliminated that is. Guanlin had looked at him with a look that screamed ‘I’m sorry’ but he just waved it off and pulled Guanlin into a hug. He then walked over to the other eliminated trainees and watched as they all left words unsaid while they huddled together to wipe at each other's eyes. He looks around and catches Samuel’s eye and for a minute Samuel looks upset, like he’s actually sorry that Yongguk was eliminated, but then Sihyun just walks right on past him (like he doesn’t exist) with a smile on his face and walks up to Samuel._

_Samuel accepts the hug, but not without looking at the look of pure hurt on Yongguk’s face. Daehwi goes to hug the only brand new trainee who doesn’t make it, Donghyun, before running up to Yongguk and throwing his arms around his neck and crying his eyes out. Yongguk only cries when Daehwi apologizes for Sihyun neglecting him for Samuel and hugs him tighter when he hears Yongguk let out a sob into his shoulder._

_Daehwi rubs soothing circles into his hip and waits patiently for him to calm down, and when the pain of being forgotten finally sinks in and he forgets what heartbreak feels like, Yongguk finally pulls away and looks at Daehwi one last time before spinning on his heel and walking out the way he came in._

_He misses the dejected look Sihyun sports as he watches his retreating form, but if he’d seen it he would’ve turned around and he didn’t need that. He didn’t need to be hopeful for something that would never happen._

_*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

_Yongguk thought his elimination would end with something different, but boy was he wrong. He sits at home with Tolby all by himself, Sihyun sneaking out to go to the produce 101 dorms. It’s only a matter of time before Sihyun finally comes home and says he’s confessed to Samuel and that Samuel returns the feelings; that will be the day Yongguk truly dreads. Tomorrow’s the final stage, the final elimination, the final episode of Produce 101, and he’s waiting patiently to know the answers. He expects Daehwi to get into the final eleven, and he expects nothing less than that. He’s literally the walking equivalent to the sun, how could he not be a part of the new I.O.I?_

_What he doesn’t expect, however, is Sihyun to come barreling into the dorm with a tearstained face. Yongguk’s immediately springing to his feet and wrapping Sihyun in a hug, asking him to calm down and trying to soothe him simultaneously. He’s running his hands through Sihyun’s hair and pulling him onto the couch like they were best friends again, like Sihyun didn’t leave him for six months for someone else._

_He waits five, ten, fifteen minutes until Sihyun’s sobs fade into small whimpers and waits ten minutes more before finally asking why Sihyun’s come home crying. Sihyun pulls Yongguk closer and tells him that he saw Samuel and Jihoon hugging and Jihoon leaning in for a kiss and that he immediately ran away and straight home._

_Yongguk doesn’t know whether to be happy that Sihyun’s upset or even more upset because of the Reason that Sihyun is upset. He doesn’t comment on it, only pulls Sihyun closer and whispers words of encouragement into his ear. He quietly back walks into Sihyun’s room and tells Sihyun to get into bed before tucking him in and getting up to leave._

_He stops in his tracks when Sihyun’s hand grabs his wrist gently, not forcing him to stay but asking. He turns to face Sihyun only to be met with pleading eyes and unsaid words that are on the tip of Sihyun’s tongue; so many things wanted to be said but left unheard. There are only two words that ring out in the silence of the room: two words that have no precise meaning separately but combined, oh goodness combined, they meant the world to Yongguk._

_“Stay here?”_

_The words are softly spoken, barely above a whisper, but they scream in Yongguk’s ear, echo rising louder and louder each time it’s repeated in his mind. Yongguk can’t hold back the small smile that makes its way onto his face as he whispers a ‘sure’ back just as softly, fondness radiating off of him in waves.  He leans down and kneels beside Sihyun’s bed, grabbing at Sihyun’s hand to help him fall asleep quicker, but Sihyun gives him a weird look before asking him what he’s doing._

_“I’m staying, that’s what you wanted.”_

_“I meant get on the bed, you idiot.”_

_“Oh.”_

_Yongguk quickly gets up and scoots onto the bed, just barely laying on the corner, and tries to get comfortable. Sihyun, rolling his eyes, pulls Yongguk further onto the bed and cuddles up to him, not letting him get away when he squirms. It takes five minutes for Yongguk to give in, and when he does he wraps his arms around Sihyun’s waist._

_“You didn’t let me say goodbye.”_

_Yongguk turns his head to face Sihyun, not understanding what he was saying._

_“What-”_

_“I- I made up the Samuel and Jihoon story.”_

_Yongguk’s head is spinning, not knowing what’s going on. He doesn’t know if Sihyun is being serious or if he’s just spewing nonsense to get Yongguk’s attention. Yongguk almost scoffs, but he sees fresh tears making their way down Sihyun’s face so he tightens his hold on Sihyun._

_“Hyun, what-”_

_“You just left. You- you hugged Daehwi and just left.”_

_“You’re not-”_

_“I went to hug Samuel to congratulate him on getting in the top 20, and when I turned around to find you you were walking out the door.”_

_“You were preoccupied.”_

_“You didn’t let me say goodbye. I went to Samuel and asked for his help, and he told me to come spend time with you.”_

_“Sihyun, I’m sorry I left.”_

_“Why did you leave before I got the chance to say goodbye?”_

_“I didn’t think you’d wanted to see me.”_

_“What, why-”_

_“I thought you didn’t want to see me-”_

_“Why on earth would I not want to see you? We’re best friends!”_

_“Why were you ignoring me?”_

_“I-”_

_“Whatever.”_

_Yongguk loosens his grip on Sihyun and starts to untangle their limbs, trying to leave the situation while explaining why he hadn’t hugged him. He goes to get up, but Sihyun’s faster; he grabs at his wrist with a pleading look in his eyes. He almost gives in immediately, but he remembers the situation they’re in and snatches his hand away before walking out of the room._

_He leaves as quickly as possible and refrains from turning around because he can’t deal with Sihyun crying right now, especially if it’s because of something he’d said or done. He tries to shake the thought out of his head and remembers that Sihyun had been ignoring him for six months._

_He walks into his room and starts up his game console, listening to the familiar background music from Overwatch. He plays mindlessly and tries to forget about the situation he’d run from because he had been so selfish; sure he’d been ignored, but Yongguk wasn’t Sihyun’s only friend. He’d apologize first thing in the morning._

_*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

_Yongguk rolled over, rubbing at his eyes as the light flowed through the almost translucent curtains. He rolled over and got out of the bed, quickly making his way to the door in order to apologize for the events from the night before. He shuffled out of his room, Tolby sneaking through his legs as he tries to make his way to Sihyun’s room._

_He opens the door and sees the bed already made. He leaves the room and scratches his head because he should’ve known, it was such a Sihyun thing to do, yet he still hoped that Sihyun would still be here when he woke up because he’d really wanted to apologize to him._

_Then it hits him like a brick to the face; he suddenly remembers that today is the filming for the final episode of Produce 101. He runs to his room and throws on the uniform he’d worn for what felt like ages and rushed out the door, throwing his hand in the air (recklessly) to hail a cab and spewing the name of the final location in one breath._

_When he finally arrives he sees Sihyun talking to Samuel with a huge smile on his face, and Yongguk practically deflates and walks over to Daehwi, hoping that he’ll temporarily mend the hole in his heart. He hugs Daehwi and tries his hardest to comfort the boy who’s complaining about having Samuel ignore him, but he’s suddenly being pulled away from Daehwi as he’s shoved into the eliminated trainees area and Daehwi; backstage._

_Sihyun is pushed next to him shortly after but the silence ensues, Sihyun won’t even look at him let alone talk to him. He wants to apologize, to say that he messed up and he didn’t mean to make Sihyun upset but the cameras start rolling and he stops mid thought as the national rep, Boa, walks onto the stage to start the program up._

_There’s a time when he’s asked a question, if he felt regret for being the 21st place instead of the 20th, but all he can think about is how Sihyun keeps looking away, so much so that he doesn’t know what his response was; all he knows is that Boa looked like she understood before smiling and looking to Kim Taemin and asking if he’d fully recovered._

_Yongguk sits down and taps on Sihyun’s shoulder, but Sihyun shushed him and told him to wait because Samuel was about to perform. He decided to face forward and look forward to Daehwi’s performance, mouth dropping when he’d figured out that Sungwoon was the center instead of Samuel. It’s pleasing to watch someone who hadn’t been put in the spotlight finally get recognition, Yongguk could admit that, and he was happy for Sungwoon because he’d have a better chance at making it._

_Yongguk watches silently, secretly admiring their stage presence and looking at Daehwi perform like he’s meant to stand on stage because he is. He deserves to be in the new group, Wanna One is the name, more than anyone Yongguk thinks (but maybe he’s just being biased as a close friend of Daehwi’s and he just wants to see him succeed). After a gruesome three minutes of watching Sihyun practically glow the song ends and Yongguk breathes a sigh of relief._

_After the Hands on me performance by the other half of the top twenty with a stunning performance by Jinyoung (Yongguk thinks he’s developed a mini crush on the boy after that performance), there was a break where Boa came back to the eliminated trainees to ask questions. Yongguk tuned it out in favor of staring at Sihyun’s side profile, hoping to get noticed (but to no avail). Sihyun wouldn’t look over to him at all, he was purposefully avoiding his eyes and it was angering Yongguk. He just wanted to apologize, why couldn’t he?_

_There was a long break where Boa motioned towards the TV screen and the entire room turned to watch what they were being shown (which ended up being a video for a special song from the top twenty to the rest of the contestants- and the fans). Suddenly the remaining contestants came onto the stage and got into position before the song started up, Yongguk could faintly see Daehwi searching for Samuel._

_When the song starts, and Jisung sings the first note, Yongguk gets lost in the song; well the lyrics anyway. When Hyungseob sings ‘I promise’ (looking straight into Woojin’s eyes even though they were on complete opposite sides of the stage and Woojin flushes slightly) is when Yongguk starts thinking about Sihyun and how much this song actually pertains to him. He wants to look at Sihyun, he really does but Sihyun would consider it weird so he refrains for as long as he can._

_When Daehwi sings his part (looking longing at Samuel, only turning to face the other way when Samuel looks at him) Yongguk starts a mental war with himself on whether he should look at Sihyun or not. Yongguk gives up on caring when Sungwoon sings, following Daehwi, and turns to look at Sihyun who’s already looking at him. He flushes almost immediately and turns away, to find Samuel again Yongguk thinks, and Yongguk is left to wonder why he’d blushed._

_*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

_The names are called one by one after what feels like hours upon hours of unnecessary suspense, the tension thick enough to be cut with an axe (because a knife would just chip and break off with how much tension Yongguk feels). She has the names in her hand, the names of people that have made it, and he just hopes one of those eleven names belongs to Daehwi because Daehwi deserves it more than anyone else in his opinion. Sihyun quietly slips his hand into Yongguk’s and squeezes gently, Yongguk looks over at Sihyun and rubs circles on the back of his hand in response before turning back to Boa and waiting for the first name to be called._

_“Bae Jinyoung.” Jinyoung makes his way to the stage, teary eyed, and makes a heartfelt speech before making his way to the tenth place seat. Yongguk smiles and claps for Jinyoung, happy that he’d made it into the group because he’s grown so much over the course of the show and Yongguk is proud to have known him._

_“Hwang Minhyun.” He sees the NU’EST members reach around and hug Minhyun as Minhyun covers his face. He makes his way to the stage, gives a thank you speech, and hugs Jinyoung before taking the ninth place seat. Minhyun deserves it, Yongguk thinks, he’s had such a hard time and he really deserves the spot in Wanna One._

_“Yoon Jisung.” Jisung, to the surprise of the entire building, holds in his tears throughout his thank you speech and even when he goes to hug Minhyun and Jinyoung. He only cries when he finally sits down in the seat for eighth place, Seungwoo and Daniel smiling fondly at the elder male sitting in the comfort of eighth place._

_“Lai Guanlin.” Seonho immediately runs into Guanlin’s arms and hugs him, not letting go until Guanlin makes his way to the stage. He thanks the fans in three separate languages and smiles to the contestants as he mentions them for all of their hard work, looking to the top twenty and smiling wider when he makes eye contact with a certain someone before hugging the others and sitting in the seventh seat. Yongguk looks to Guanlin longingly because Guanlin’s got it all: he’s gotten into wanna one, he’s got friends with him, and he’s got someone to love who loves him unconditionally- even more than ‘his Minhyun hyung’ which is saying something because Seonho loves Minhyun._

_“Park Woojin.” Woojin immediately turns around to hug Hyungseob, who’s already reaching out for Woojin and congratulating him for being chosen, and almost does something that would’ve ended his career before it had even started. He and Hyungseob both look shocked but play it off as being shocked for Woojin getting into wanna one before hugging each other. Woojib carefully steps down and makes his way to the stage. He slips into his satoori while giving his thanks and Yongguk can picture the curling of Hyungseob’s lips into a smile when he first hears Woojin’s dialect. He quickly makes his way to hug the others before sitting down in the sixth place seat and looking over to Hyungseob who’s not looking at him._

_“Ong Seungwoo.” Seungwoo’s mouth widens, as do his eyes, and he welcomes the onslaught of trainees making their way to hug him (he doesn’t stay for long, he has someone special he wants to hug). He rushes through his thank you speech, sounding quite slow despite the speed he thought he was talking. He ended with a bow and made his way to the other trainees and hugged each one, lingering longer when he hugged Jisung (Yongguk thinks he spotted Seungwoo kiss Jisung’s neck when they hugged but he could just be seeing things)._

_“Kim Jaehwan.” Yongguk wanted to laugh at Jaehwan’s reaction to having his name called, but the laughter died in his throat when he saw Sewoon immediately run to him and hug him, smile proud and eyes watery for someone other than himself. Jaehwan goes through his thank you speech and stumbles to the fourth place seat trying to hide his tears behind his sleeve._

_“Lee Daehwi.” Daehwi is immediately in tears and walking to the stage, after being hugged by Samuel (and the others, but mostly Samuel), saying this thank you speech, but Yongguk’s distracted by Sihyun looking at him with a huge smile on his face and hugging him. Yongguk knew he’d get in, he knew that Daehwi would be one of the members of wanna one- and to be placed so highly? Yongguk is so proud of how far Daehwi’s come, especially at such a young age. Sihyun voices his thoughts, stating what Yongguk had just thought about Daehwi but quiets down when the final two are called to the stage._

_“Park Jihoon and Kang Daniel, please step forward.” They both hugged the remaining trainees and made their way to the stage before standing, waiting with baited breath. Time seemed to stop waiting for the name to be said but the crowd roared when the name was finally said._

_“Kang Daniel.” Daniel Immediately hugs Jihoon and gives his thank you speech quickly, thanking everyone who’d ever helped him and looking up towards Jisung and Seungwoo during one point of his speech._

_“Park Jihoon, any thoughts?” Jihoon goes into his thank you speech, going into detail on who he’d like to thank and why he’d like to thank them. It was a beautiful speech and he even mentioned that he was proud to even be second place because Daniel deserved first place. They both walked up the stairs to be swallowed up by the swarm of the final ten. Boa waited until Daniel sat down to call up the eleventh place._

_Samuel didn’t show up on the final four contestants in the running for the top eleven and Yongguk looked over to Sihyun sadly, rubbing circles on the back of his hand. Sihyun smiles sadly at him before letting go of his hand and moving away to get ready to hug Samuel._

_“Ha Sungwoon.” Sungwoon practically jumps off the stage and gives his thank you speech, with a crying Taehyun in the background, then immediately walks to the eleventh place. When he sits down Boa gives an ending speech and then all of the trainees are rushing to greet the top eleven and comfort those who had almost made it. Yongguk immediately runs to Daehwi and hugs him, telling him that he’s so proud._

_Sihyun walks up and hugs Daehwi, telling him that he’s proud he’d made it and that he knew he would. Daehwi thanks them before walking away to find Samuel, leaving Yongguk to stand with Sihyun, but before it can get awkward Sihyun apologizes for the previous night and Yongguk does as well. Sihyun hugs him and they’re left to themselves, all the trainees leaving them in their own little bubble which was great._

_When they finally let go of each other they quickly make their way backstage so they can greet the trainees and they find Samuel sitting in Jisung’s lap crying his eyes out. Sihyun slips out of Yongguk’s grasp and makes his way to stand next to Samuel as a teary eyed Daehwi walks up to Yongguk, crying about how much he is upset that Samuel won’t debut with wanna one. He was so upset that he started crying again and Yongguk quickly made to comfort him so he could feel somewhat better._

_*_  
_*_ _  
_ *

Yongguk keeps his distance from Sihyun as the comedy continues to play, but when the movie is finally over Jisung looks to Daehwi with a smirk before placing the next movie into the player and making his way back to his boyfriends (yes plural, Jisung never explains it because it’s too complicated), cuddling up in between Seungwoo and Daniel. The title of the movie pops up and Daehwi immediately scoots closer to Samuel as Sihyun tenses up. Yongguk is unphased; he doesn’t feel scared about the movie nor does he think he’ll be scared by some stupid horror film, but Sihyun, he’d be terrified.

Halfway through the film Sihyun is literally in his lap, clinging onto him like his life practically depends on it, and to Sihyun it does. Yongguk looks up at Samuel and sees Daehwi in the same exact position, Samuel’s arm wrapped securely around his waist as one hand cards through his hair. Daehwi’s face has become one with Samuel’s shoulders and it doesn’t seem like Daehwi is making a move to free his face anytime soon.

Samuel catches Yongguk’s eyes and motions to Daehwi. Yongguk is confused and it makes Samuel roll his eyes and motion to Sihyun, then back at himself and Daehwi, then back to Sihyun until Yongguk finally understands what he’s hinting at and wraps his arms around Sihyun’s waist pulling him as close as he possibly can. Sihyun mimicks Daehwi’s actions almost immediately and rests his head on Yongguk’s shoulder, casually lolling in between his shoulder and his neck.

Around halfway through the movie Yongguk feels Sihyun’s grip loosen as he feels shallow puffs of breath on his neck. He turns to see Sihyun sleeping peacefully and he smiles, sweeping the hair out of his face and placing a feather light kiss on his face (fatally close to his lips) as to not wake up the sleeping beauty.

But Sihyun wasn’t actually sleeping and he catches Yongguk off guard by carding his fingers through Yongguk’s hair and locking them tight before pulling Yongguk in for a proper kiss. Yongguk isn’t thinking straight, he doesn’t know what to do because Sihyun’s kissing him and he never thought that would happen ever in his entire life so he’s lost. He’s being urgent, trying to think of what he should do before Sihyun decides to pull away and apologize because he can’t apologize for something like this.

Yongguk decides on what he’s doing when Sihyun decides that he’s embarrassed himself and starts to pull away. He, having all of the grace of a newborn giraffe, leans forward as Sihyun leans back, effectively knocking them to the ground. He finds a way to support himself so he isn’t crushing Sihyun before pulling himself back into a sitting position and pulling Sihyun along by his collar. Sihyun wraps his arms around Yongguk’s neck, fingers finding their way back into Yongguk’s slick, raven hair.

They’re brought out of their moment when they hear a loud, shrill shriek coming from the TV (or Daehwi who’d decided to finally remove his head from Samuel’s shoulder). They take their time, but do eventually pull away from each other to see what’s happened and find Daehwi shoving his face back into Samuel’s shoulder and Samuel smirking at Yongguk.

Yongguk just shrugs his shoulders before turning back and kissing Sihyun again and again until he runs out of breath. He catches his breath and then repeats the process over until Sihyun pulls away giggling and lightly smacking his shoulder. Sihyun cuddles up to him and Yongguk doesn’t know what they are, but he does know that they’ll be okay and that’s all he needs to close his eyes, pull Sihyun closer, and fall asleep wrapped in Sihyun’s embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> okay, I've decided I do want to do spin offs of each fic and I plan to have multiple fics, but the problem is I don't know which I should do first. I'm deciding on either the Minhwan one which then separates into two separate fics, the guanho one, the jinseob one, the samhwi one, or the ongnielsung one that I'm really excited about. I'm excited for all and I can't choose which one to start first. But I might not depending on how crappy people think this one is... I don't know yet, I'm still iffy. I don't know what to do fjakonfdka I hope you guys enjoyed it and if you didn't I'm sorry.  
> ~Stay Beautiful.


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